Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance. So, they each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room. A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio... Read more of The Missing Dollar at Free Jokes.ca

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Love Spells Vol. 2 The Gods Of Love

all through time, and in every culture there have been deities dedicated to love. from the shy mutual

attraction, to serious flirtation, there is a god out there who fits the bill.

there are a number of ways of petitioning the deities ~ offerings of incense, flowers, fruit, sacrifice

(usually a lock of hair or a drop of blood) or by dedicating oneself to their service for a length of time.

the easiest way is by prayer, which are quite simply spells, spoken or thought to focus the mind and will

on a desired goal, and to ask the assistance of the powers that be in attaining that goal

ISIS AND OSIRIS

Osiris and his wife Isis are said to have brought civilization to the then savage land of Egypt. between them

they taught agricultural, created the first musical instruments and laid down the foundations for religious

observances.

Osiris hated violence, it was hision and sweetness that brought him success, his enemies were simply disarmed by the gentle strength

of his personality.

while her husband was away charming everyone, Isis governed Egypt to perfection. she embodied

fertility, wisdom and female magic, and it was she who restored Osiris' body to life after set killed him

Isis and Osiris symbolize perfected married happiness, they are equals in power and ability,

devoted to each other and wise in the care of their children. those wishing for such qualities in their own

relationship can say a simple pray to the pair at sunrise and sunset

"wise Isis, gentle Osiris, may your love and devotion echo in my love and life"

corn, grapes and acacia are special to Osiris, while the lotus, figs, myrrh and dates are appropriate for Isis,

share the fruits as a love feast to confirm your love, and wear the ankh, the ancient symbol of life to keep it

fresh and strong.

JUPITER AND JUNO

Jupiter was seen as the great protector, he symbolized justice and honor, and was the guardian of the young.

he was sometimes a bit heavy handed but usually tempering discipline with wisdom.

Juno was the protectress of women, especially mothers and those in labor. she may be visualized as a guiding

light helping the new baby in its journey from the womb. she was the matriarch, the equal of her husband.

as the goddess of childbirth juno's help was invoked by those having difficulty conceiving children.

together Jupiter and Juno symbolize wise parenthood and protection especially those new to raising a

family. nutmeg, cloves, almonds and olives are Jupiter's plants.

the iris, lily and verbena are junos, and her special attribute is the peacocks feather (the eyes symbolize her watchfulness over her children)

the 1st of march is junos day, while success cant be guaranteed, childless couples might dedicate this time to

a special attempt. share some olives or almonds, and say a small pray to the pair. the wording should be from

your heart, and of your own choice. burn some myrrh incense to help the pray on its way.

ZEUS AND HERA

these two are included as a way of warding off unwanted behavior rather than encouraging it

Zeus is renowned for his infidelities, his marriage to Hera did nothing to stop him. Hera was always faithful,

she was also very jealous and quite capable of visiting terrible punishments on the women involved, even

though they were usually blameless..

Zeus is the typical chauvinist, a type to be avoided (unless you are a masochist)

Hera is the vindictive , embittered wronged wife, and the proud, virtuous, unattainable beauty.

oranges, peppermint and the poplar tree are Zeus' plants. if you are troubled by and unwanted attraction to

a modern day Zeus, take an orange, some peppermint leaves and a handful of cloves,

pin the mint leaves to the orange with the cloves, saying as each clove pierces the skin,

"with this act I drive you, (name) from my mind and my heart. begone and trouble me no more"

leave the charm to dry so that you can watch it wrinkle and harden, feeling your attraction to the person die

with it. to ward off an attraction to someone you know is prone to jealousy and will make your life miserable,

tie five knots in a long, supple willow twig and either bury it or throw it into fast running water saying

"I bind this affection with Hera's knots and sent it far from me"

APHRODITE

she is the goddess of love, all love, from the noblest idealized romance to simple lust. prays to her must

from the heart, and be phrased in your own words

so for a pure love say your pray to Aphrodite urania, and carry or wear a chrysoprase or dioptase.

Aphrodite genetrix protects married love and the family. she is the patroness of those wishing for a spouse, or

wanting to renew the sparkle in their marriage. jade is the luckiest stone for this.

Aphrodite nymphia listens to the young, and those who are just starting out on their journey into love and

romance. malachite and amazonite are best, either worn or carried.

Aphrodite pandemos is the one if you are after a wild time. wear peridot or bloodstone to help give you the

energy to keep going till dawn.

to bring love into a lonely life, or to enhance the one you already have, wear emeralds (her special gem) prepare

a meal that includes apricots, strawberries and cinnamon, and have a red rose on the table. burn some

sandalwood incense, and the spell will be enhanced. as you eat concentrate on opening your mind and heart

to loving influences and be sure to clean and carry the apricot stone with you, for luck.

EROS

treat Eros with care, he is capricious and quite capable of causing heartache.

he is the son of Aphrodite, a beautiful, sometimes gracious, sometimes malicious child. who takes great

pleasure in torturing men with the fires of unrequited love. if you find yourself so afflicted you may be able

to deflect the worse of it by taking bay leaves, writing the initial letter of your unattainable beloved's name

on them, and burning them. this may act to remove the curse.

alternatively you could try appealing to his mother, Aphrodite might be persuaded to reverse the situation or

even intervene to bring your love to fruition, especially if you have shown devotion to her in the past.

MORRIGAN

the warrior goddess, her birds are the crow and raven, the carrion birds who feed on the dead at the field of

battle, and her color is black.

Morrigan is implacable in action, and has an understanding of the natural order of life. that things are born,

die, and are reborn. while always ready to do battle, she is never vindictive and has a keen sense of justice.

Morrigan is the ideal god to call on if you are in a difficult, stressful relationship, and you want out.

carry a black stone as a talisman and ask to borrow her strength before confronting the source of friction, be

sure to finish it decisively and with no backward glances.

ANGUS

Angus was the son of the dagda, originally the principal fertility god. his function seems mainly to bring fond

affection and light heartedness into relationships. if you are finding things a little heavy going, gather some

golden colored flowers and a couple of citrines, dedicate them to Angus and ask him to brighten the atmosphere between you. if possible buy

some mead, and share a glassful before going to bed each night, to help loving

feelings and to bring pleasant dreams.

THE EARTH GODDESS

a triple goddess often referred to as bride or Bridget. she represented the fertile earth as well as the three

stages of a woman's life, maiden, mature woman and mother, and post-menopausal.

to invoke her stability and endurance when faced with a difficult task, like saying its over to a clinging

lover you have outgrown but still have affection for. bury underneath a pine or oak tree, a small personal

sacrifice (a lock of hair, or a drop of blood) while mentally asking to be granted the strength to perform

the task without harming anyone.

CERNUNNOS

the lord of the dance, also called the horned god, cerunnos symbolizes male fertility. he is the protector

of wild animals, and with the earth goddess embodies wholeness and creative power. his power may be

invoked for male allplaints like impotence or male infertility.

take a rock crystal wand, the size does not matter as long as it longer than it is broad, to a solitary oak

tree, lean against the trunk, holding the crystal in both hands, close your eyes and imagine yourself

being filled with energy drawn from the tree, the sun, the air, the earth. focus this energy into the

crystal and keep the stone with you at all times.

SHIVA AND SHAKTI

they symbolize joy and enlightenment. Shiva is the dancing god, he destroys illusions, thus allowing the

person to fully enjoy the game of life. shakti is his female counterpart, without whom he is i allplete,

she embodies beauty, pleasure and the happiness thats with self acceptance. both are invoked through

dance, not formal dancing but the dance thats from within, and expresses inner joy and freedom. some

people may find this hard to start with, try dancing by yourself until you feel allfortable with the idea.

after awhile you can dance for each other and then with each other using the movements to weave a love

spell between and around you. poppy and jasmine are used to scent the air, these are special to shakti,

while Shiva's plants are the Banyan tree and marjoram.

KUAN-YIN

the Chinese goddess of mercy andion. her gentleness and healing abilities make her the perfect

patron for all those who have been hurt, humiliated, or abandoned in love.

find a solitary place, preferably near a pool, if it contains water lilies, kuan-yins plant so much the better.

sit quietly and calm your mind, then mentally ask her to listen while you tell her your problems.

she is renowned for her patience and will let you talk through without interruption.

let her kindness and sympathy fill you mind and calm your emotions, the tranquillity of the place will

soothe your spirit and let you leave with a renewed sense of self worth. before you go be sure to thank

her for her solace, and remember that a small donation to a charity of your choice, especially to one of

the children's charities will reinforce the effect and ensure her continued good wishes.

Did this spell work for you?

Next: A LOVING BELL

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